Happy new year, and welcome to my first post since last August. Begin sarcastic clapping.......now.
Now that I'm the father of a 2-year-old and a 5-month-old, I've had to make a few modifications to my long term 'athletic' goals. I'm no longer interested in running fast. Say what? How can that be? Isn't running fast the only motivation to run in the first place? Okay. Fine. It used to be. However, now that I'm physically incapable of running fast, I'm no longer interested in it. LDO. Now I need to think of some things to do to keep the running interesting, otherwise I'll continue my fat-ward slide into creamy wussiness.
Here's what I've come up with so far.
1. Set the world record for running a marathon while dribbling a basketball.
I'll have to check, but I think the record is currently a very pedestrian 3:40-something. I think even my old bones could manage that.
2. Finish The Western States 100 while drinking a beer at each aid station.
I think that's something like 20 beers, but I also think it would only take me about 20 hours, so I don't think I'd even get buzzed. Maybe it'll have to be two beers at each station? As soon as I get my qualifier, I'll start looking for sponsors. I'm really hoping I can get Anchor or Sierra Nevada to pay my entry fee ($370?!?! Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, that's a lot of money. Does it come with a hand job and a bag of weed?), but I'll stoop as low as I have to. I see you, Olde English 800 3.2!
3. Run the Bay to Breakers 12k wearing just a thong and a George W. Bush mask.
Wait...I already did that ten years ago.
Holy shit...It's been 10 years? Meeeeeehmorieeeees....
4. Try not to mortify my kids the way my Dad did me.
This one may be in direct conflict with numbers 1, 2 and 3.
If anybody reads this and has any suggestions for other goofy shit I can do, please share. I don't think I'll get any suggestions, since the only people who read this are my wife and possibly some guy in Norway, but I'm making the request anyway.
